The Trash Fairy

My nose has a problem.

It works really well. I have so much respect for people that work with garbage or sewage.

With that said, Earle knew when we got married that I did not do trash. In fact, I contemplated putting this in our wedding vows.

Before Earle came along Meredith and I had creative ways of taking off the trash...we did not do it. Well, should I say we just kept piling it up in a big garbage can outside hoping some trash fairy would come take it away.

During the first week or so of living together this method worked just find. Then as trash tends to do it began to pile up and smell.

We being the bright intellectuals that we were, had a plan. It first involved borrowing her dad's truck to get the ton or so of trash that had piled up.

During those first few weeks of boycotting our trash duties, it had also rained.

We rolled up our sleeves, plug our noses, and gave a 1, 2, 3 to which the trash can did not move. It was full of water.

"Ok we can this."

"Let's just dump it over and run."

"1, 2, 3. Go!"

For those of you that take your trash out on time let me tell you what happened to our trash. The weeks of sitting outside in the rain made our trash bags not so strong and a few uninvited critters had come to live with the garbage.

The moment we dumped the the trash, the bags busted to expose our leftover foods from the last few weeks to which the rainwater washed everywhere.

I have no words for the smell.

At this point I seriously considered calling someone to help us. (911, yes we have an emergency)

We thought through the new plan and decided to use grocery store bags to pick up the old garbage.

Did I mention the smell?

I lasted for about 20 seconds before I took off running to the side of the house to lets say compose my stomach.



These clumsy dance of trash pick-up and run to a safe smelling place lasted for about an hour as we picked up our trash piece by piece.

All ends well and the trash made it to the dumpster, but not before we coated our noses with scented lotion to mask the smell.

Lesson: Don't believe in the trash fairy, she will not come and take your old garbage in the middle of the night.